Tuesday, February 4, 2014

The Most Popular Baby Girl Names From 100 Years Ago -- And Where They Stand Now

The Most Popular Baby Girl Names From 100 Years Ago -- And Where They Stand Now

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By Linda Rosenkrantz for Nameberry
At the beginning of the year, we like to flip back the calendar a hundred years to see what the baby name landscape looked like a century ago. 1914 was a year in which World War I was in full dudgeon, the year that President Wilson officially established Mother’s Day, Charlie Chaplin and Babe Ruth made their debuts, and saw the births of Dylan Thomas, Jonas Salk and Joe DiMaggio.
But the babyname universe was relatively calm, as we can see by looking at the stable top dozen girls’ names. Here, they are, in order of their 1914 popularity, and what their status is today:
In 1914, the New Testament Mary was in no danger of giving up her top spot, which she had held for hundreds of years and would continue to occupy for another 36. There were 45,000 little Marys born that year -- 5.6% of all girls --whereas though Mary is now at a still respectable Number 123, it was given to just over 2,500 girls in the last year counted.
Helen was a typical name of her day, quiet and reserved, associated with beauty in ancient times as ‘the face that launched a thousand ships.’ In 1914, Helen was put on birth certificates more than 23,000 times; today Helen ranks at Number 402, as many parents see Helena or Elena as more stylish alternatives.
Dorothy, currently near the bottom of the list at Number 922, was the third most popular name in the country in 1914, with close to 19,000 girls given that name, while currently a mere 275 Dorothys were registered. But with the name having reentered the Top 1000 in 2011, there might be signs of a revival
The classic, regal, saintly, Margaret has hardly ever been out of the Top 100, ranking now at Number 178. And when we looked recently at all her fabulous nicknames and variations, from Daisy to Maisie to Margot, we saw that she is still a name of infinite possibilities.
Ruth was the top Old Testament name of 1914, above such later favorites as Sarah,Rachel and Rebecca. Now, at Number 344, she’s at her lowest point ever, associated with the generation of Supreme Court Justice Ginsburg and Dr. Ruth. But some of these less popular OT names like Ruth, Esther, Miriam and Naomi are showing signs of stirring.
A multi-cultural favorite over the generations, Anna has just recently slipped off the Top 25, and is now at #35. Several younger actresses like Anna Paquin, Anna Gunn and Anna Kendrick have given it a shot of youthful energy.
Mildred is definitely the wallflower of the group, having been off the charts since 1984, though nickname Milly survives via Millicent. Sorry, but there’s just something about that dred second syllable.
Elizabeth is the sole survivor of the Top 10, without too much inconsistency over time: there were 11,000+ born in 1919, and 9,500+ in 2012 -- plus, of course, several of her nickname names that have popularity on their own.
The soft-spoken classic Frances was Number 9 in 1914 (coincidentally in the same place as was Frank), and now, though having dropped now to Number 764, seems to be on the brink of a revival, (she’s Number 79 on Nameberry), thanks partly to the influence of Pope Francis.
Though she hasn’t sunk as low as Dorothy or Frances, at Number 576 Marie sounds more dated than either of them, these days tending to be used mostly as a family namesake. It’s still hanging in as a middle though: Jessica Alba used it as such for daughter Honor, and Giada DeLaurentiis for her girl Jade.
The 1914 Number 11 name Evelyn is in the midst of a big comeback, now at Number 27, joining a growing clique of fashionable Ev-names -- Eve, Eva, Everett, Everest,Everly, Evie and Evangeline.
Alice, with her gentle Alice-in-Wonderland aura, has been climbing back up the ladder since Tina Fey chose it for her daughter in 2005, and is now at Number 127. Associated with an extraordinary number of noted women writers, Alice is one of the strongest and sweetest of the classic girls’ names.

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Ending Your Marriage With Integrity

Ending Your Marriage With Integrity

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How do you end a marriage with integrity?
What if you are currently married and after much internal conflict and many sleepless nights realize you need to separate and eventually divorce? Is there a way to do it with respect, honoring your partner and your history in a way that says more than just, "Sorry, I want out"?
There are three parts to this ending. First, the emotional end of a marriage. We believe that the emotional covenant made between two people, an implicit monogamy agreement, the promise that we make to love one another forever, can be broken simply by one person's feelings changing. However, just one of you may have broken the emotional bond between you -- the other may not have. Usually couples are in two totally different places when it comes to divorce. One is ready to leave, the other is still in love.
Second, there is still that legal contract that must be dissolved. The explicit monogamy agreement needs to be honored in a more transparent way. This is a signed, stamped, filed agreement that was made in front of family and friends and binds you legally. At least until you pay a mediator, collaborative attorney or a divorce lawyer to get you out of if.
And third, there is a deeper issue. Marriage is a spiritual contract that for some extends back many lifetimes, or on a deeper plane than what can be seen on a physical level. For others there is a karmic commitment to the relationship that can't be broken just because partner declares, "I want to be free now."
This deeper story and meaning inside a marriage can actually keep many couples from disconnecting with integrity.
Some think that it is the spiritual bond that keeps the marriage together. But it can be the one thing that holds partners back from ending a marriage in a clear and transparent way, as they avoid the more serious conversations about the real ties that need to be unbound. There is a deeper conversation that couples avoid when they want to end the marriage; the grieving of the vision that they held of the lifetime connection that at one time seemed magical and beyond explainable. This may seem overwhelming or too esoteric to approach.
With these deep issues to think about and all of the other bonds that bind a couple, there are many questions to ask if you are thinking of ending your marriage. Ending a marriage with intention is crucial to do if you want to inflict the least amount of collateral damage on your children. Protecting them from excess emotional wounding is important for them but also for you and their other parent. Before you act impulsively, ask yourself some hard questions first.
Below are a series of things to think about to help you with your decision. Once you confirm that you do want to divorce, there are things you can do that can help you to end the relationship with integrity. Keeping your self respect intact will protect both you and your family from the emotional chaos that an unconscious divorce can cause.
Questions to ask yourself:
1) Do I need to establish a full and enriching life outside of my marriage?
2) Am I being swept up in the excitement of an affair?
3) Do I rely on regular communication with my partner by texting, emailing and/or calling them
several times a day?
4) Is our sex life regular and satisfying and do we talk about our fantasies openly?
5) Does my partner tell me that they love me?
6) Do you dwell on negative stories about and ruminate on ending your marriage?
7) Do you compare other men or women to your wife or husband?
8) Do you threaten to leave the marriage when you argue?
9) Have you tried to go to couple's counseling more than three times without finding help for
your marriage?
10) Are you ready to leave and have a contingency plan already mapped out?
If you answered YES to numbers 1 through 5, you may want to consider the possibility that your marriage is stronger than you think. Some couple's counseling may help. You may also benefit from a counselor who can help you with the intentional divorce process if you decide to continue.
If you answered YES to question 5 though 10 and feel you are ready to walk away, you can still end your marriage with integrity. If you feel it's time to end your commitment, take some time to do it right. Don't underestimate the impact you will make on someone else's life. Your partner deserves to be treated with respect. You were involved in their life and got them involved in yours. The first step is to end things in a mature, healthy way.
Reasons to end your marriage with integrity:
1) If you don't end it well, you may jeopardize the new relationship you can have for the future, if you are co-parenting.
2) If you don't do this with integrity and respect, you could potentially hurt your partner's feelings, which could mean they may want to hurt yours in order to find closure for the divorce. The process could drag on for a lifetime. Neither of you will find emotional satisfaction and you may be unequipped then to provide for your children.
3) Some partners who feel disrespected may create more chaos in the divorce, complicating the legal process and dragging it on, making your financial pressures greater for both of you now and in the future.
Rules of Disengagement:
1) Be clear. Make sure you are clear that you want to end the marriage. If you have not tried to go to counseling, let your partner know that you are not interested in pursuing continued therapy. If you want to try one more time, be specific about what you will or will not do. For instance, if you are willing to try six sessions, stay with the treatment for the whole six hours.
2) Set boundaries. Try to maintain a "light and polite" relationship, avoid personal discussions where sharing feelings may trigger arguments.
3) Make amends. Tell them you are sorry for hurting them, leading them on, or getting them into this mess in the first place.
4) Show empathy. Try to relate to how they are feeling, and take responsibility for your part in the marriage ending in this way.
5) Admit Ambivalence. Make it clear to them that you have to end the relationship, although you may have regrets and even second thoughts at times.
6) Thank them. If you feel it, thank them for all that they have shared with you. Appreciate what you have gotten from the marriage from one another. Don't let a divorce lead you to rewrite the whole history of your years together. There were many good parts along the way.
7) Share priorities. Let them know that you are working on an intentional divorce and that your relationship with your children is your priority. This will let your partner know that you are not setting out to devastate them legally, emotionally or financially.
8) Be patient. Your partner is still catching up. You are way ahead. Let them have their feelings ; you may have already had these same emotions and gotten past them and even healed long ago.
After effects:
1) Grieve. You may have had a fantasy that the marriage would work out better than it did. You now have to grieve that possibility.
2) Guilt. The guilt and remorse over hurting your spouse may at times be very intense. Bringing all of yourself into your grief is actually the best way to move on with your future.
3) Vision. Sit down and think about what you want for your future. If you have children, create a vision together of what that would look like and what it will take to make it work.
4) Get Help. Most importantly, you can't go through this alone. Get a therapist, find a support group. For more info on Imago Relationship Therapy, Intentional Divorce, Intensives or Retreats for Couples, or trainings for therapists, please go towww.drtammynelson.com.
Dr Tammy Nelson is a world renowned expert in relationships, a psychotherapist in private practice and a trainer and seminar leader worldwide. She is the author of several books including Getting The Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together and the upcoming The New Monogamy; Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity. She can be found atwww.drtammynelson.com.

13 Signs You're A Full-Blown Coffee Addict (PHOTOS)


13 Signs You're A Full-Blown Coffee Addict (PHOTOS)

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When it comes to drinking coffee there is no middle ground. You aren't just kind of a coffee drinker. You either are or you aren't. And if you are, chances are you're pretty intense about it. Because it's really easy to go from drinking your first cup of coffeeever to not being able to function at all without one. From there, it's only a matter of time till you experience the most intense skull-splitting headache of your life if you should suddenly decide to forego a cup one morning.
Coffee's like that. Once it gets into your life, it completely takes over. We could blame the caffeine, but it isn't just that. For true coffee fiends, it is and always will be about the coffee. Whether it's iced, gourmet, or just black; pour over, percolated or French press, it doesn't matter. It's coffee, and that's good enough for us. If any of this is ringing true to you, chances are that your relationship with coffee runs deep. Read on and find out just how deep.
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    One Cup Is NEVER Enough
    Source: mctalko.tumblr.com
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    It's The ONLY Reason You Get Out Of Bed In The Morning
    Flickr: Jun Seita
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    A Bottomless Cup Of Coffee Renews Your Faith In Humanity
    Source: hdgifs
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    You Would Rather Drink A Bad Cup Of Coffee Than NO COFFEE AT ALL
    Flickr: Jessie Pearl
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    You Keep Instant Coffee Stocked
    Flickr: comedy_nose
    You know, JUST IN CASE.
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    By 4pm, You've Lost Track Of How Many Cups Of Coffee You've Had
    thepookapicks.wordpress.com
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    This Is How You Feel Every Second Of Every Day
    Giphy.com
  • 8
    You've Seriously Considered Brewing Your Coffee With Coffee
    Flickr: jamesskivington
    Water, what?
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    If You Don't Have Coffee Before Noon You Get A Headache Of Epic Proportions
    http://wheninlawschool.tumblr.com/
    Even worse than how you feel after too many tequila shots.
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    You Have More Than One Way To Brew Coffee
    Flickr: wickenden
    You never know when you'll need a backup.
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    You've Tried To Quit Coffee Before, And It Was The Worst 24 Hours Of Your Life
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    You've Made Coffee Ice Cubes
    Flickr: jamieanne
    And not just for iced coffee.
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    Without Coffee You Pretty Much Turn Into A Monster
    http://magpielibrarian.wordpress.com/
    Seriously. People need to stay away.
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